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Wednesday, April 10, 2002
      ( 12:34 PM ) Jackie  

Thoughts on Sickness and Death

My sister called the other day --of course she did; I needed to talk to her. I told her about LaVerne's having died and how private she was about her illness.

We agree: If we become ill, we want people to come see us, to love us if possible and pity us if necessary. We want flowers and gifts and food we can't even eat, and gentle touches, and people to just sit with us if there's nothing else to do. We don't care how awful we may look, or how out demented we may be.

Also, she is making a will and I will be updating mine. We recalled what a gift it was for Richard to make all the funeral arrangements for my mother ahead of time so that we had only to deal with our grief. I plan to look into doing that for my self.

I have a statement about what I want in terms of a memorial, though it needs to be modified. I DO NOT want my ex to sing, for example! I also have a living will and power of attorney so that no one has to figure out what the hell to do with my mortal coil in the event of various horrible outcomes such as permanently vegetative states. I have a pink dot on my drivers license indicating that I would want my organs donated -- though NOT to a teaching hospital. My sister and my son have copies of all this stuff. See, I'm gonna be very opinionated and picky right up to the end.

Meanwhile, I plan to celebrate my health and good fortune and to live as well as I can.

By the way, Nolo Press has software that will help to create all these necessary documents and it is really easy to use. There are also some good FAQs on their web site.

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Words and photos from Jackie in Oakland, CA. More I cannot tell you ... I won't know what it is until I do it.

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